Is A Marriage License What Makes Me Married In God's Eyes?
Millions of couples, at least in the United States, identify themselves as husband and wife, though they have no marriage license, and have never walked down the aisle. What's more is that many even identify themselves as Christians who believe the Bible. So, let's take a simple approach to examining their statements in light of biblical scripture to find the answer to whether those couples are married in God's eyes. In the USA, many of those couples might have what's known as a Common Law marriage, because they have lived together for years, and even have children together. However, how does the Lord look at that Common Law marriage? Let's find out.
Statements:
"Not having a marriage license does not make me a fornicator! That license is nothing but a piece of paper issued by men. As long as my partner and I are faithful and committed to each other, we are just as married as couples who walked down the aisle, and who have a marriage license. Don't we see in the Bible that Isaac just took Rebekah into his tent? They had no marriage license and no ceremony. And the Bible says Rebekah was Isaac's wife! So, I took my girlfriend into my house... my "modern" tent. That makes her my wife.
Biblical Response:
When we read that Isaac took Rebekah into the tent with him, and that Abraham took Sarah for his wife, we are not being told they just grabbed women, and started living with them, calling them their wives. No. We have proof that there was some type of ceremony, ritual, or something that announced and sealed a binding agreement of marriage as husband and wife.
In the 24th chapter of Genesis, which tells us about Isaac's marriage to Rebekah, we read that Rebekah's father, whose name was Bethuel, and her brother, whose name was Laban, gave their daughter and sister, Rebekah, away in marriage to Isaac. Isaac and Rebekah did not just start living together. Rebekah was given to Isaac in marriage.
We read, "Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the Lord. We cannot speak unto thee bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before thee. Take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken.
Earlier in the same chapter, we are told that Bethuel was Rebekah's father, and that Laban was her brother. Two men who had authority to give her in marriage. We then see in verse fifty-eight of the same chapter that Bethuel and Laban ask Rebekah if she wants to go with the servant to be the wife of the servant's master's son, who was Isaac. Rebekah said yes. This is nothing short of an 'I do'. When Isaac takes her into the tent with him, he is also saying 'I do'. It was a real marriage. Notice that Rebekah did not even say 'I do' before her father and brother had already given their consent for her to be Isaac's wife. We even see that Abraham's servant gave Rebekah's mother and brother jewels, silver and gold for her. Do you honestly think you would pay jewels, silver and gold for a girlfriend?
This is why the Bible speaks of people 'marrying and being given in marriage'. God's Word shows us that men take a wife. In other words, they marry. But women, on the other hand, are given in marriage by some authority. In those days, a woman's father and / or older brother usually gave her in marriage.
We read, "...They married wives, they were given in marriage..." (Luke 17:27). The Bible consistently speaks of marrying and being GIVEN in marriage in other passages as well, including Mat. 22:30, Mat. 24:38, and Luke 20:34-36. We chose to quote the Luke 17:27 passage, because it removes any doubt of who marries, and who is given in marriage. We read that "they married wives". That points to men, because though lesbianism has existed since ancient time, women did not marry wives. "They were given in marriage" points specifically to women. Also in the Luke 17:27 passage is a reference to people marrying and being given in marriage since the days of Noah. So even as far back as Genesis, marriage consisted of men marrying, and women being given in marriage.
Let us remember that Christians are called the Bride of Christ. And, in the book of John, Jesus speaks of believers being given to Him by the Father. And, just like Rebekah, it is up to us to say yes, or no, to being His bride. A woman cannot give herself away as wife. Not even Eve could give herself to Adam as wife. She had no earthly father or brother to give her away, but she still had to be given away, because women are GIVEN in marriage. And women do NOT give themselves in marriage. Someone else does that. Therefore, the Lord Himself gave Eve to Adam in marriage. We read, "And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man." (Gen. 2:22). Surely it would have been possible for Adam and Eve to find each other on their own, and just start living together. They're both in the same garden. But instead of that, we see God giving Eve to Adam. Adam does not just grab her, and take her for wife. And Eve does not give herself to Adam.
Marriage is most serious in God's eyes. The world may honor common law marriage, but we are not of the world. We must do things in obedience to God's law. Otherwise, we either commit fornication or adultery...two extremely serious sins. A wedding ceremony not only allows you to be given away, but the biblical condition of WITNESSES is also met. The apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians, "In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established." We don't doubt that there are couples who have made what they call vows. But we cannot be witnesses unto ourselves. No one but God can be a witness unto Himself. So, who were the witnesses in Adam and Eve's marriage? The Lord was their witness. And the Lord is in three Persons: God, The Word, and the Holy Spirit. So, Adam and Eve's marriage was established on earth and in heaven by the greatest witness there is. We read, "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one. And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one." (1 John 5:7-8)"
We understand that the problem of singleness among true Christians is a most severe one worldwide... one which many married Christians do not understand, and one about which few care. That leaves many singles who are true Christian believers in a sad dilemma that seems insurmountable. Nevertheless, genuine followers of Christ refuse to live in fornication, a sin which will prevent inheriting the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9).