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The Cost of Bullying: A Christian Perspective

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Contrary to what many believe, there are absolute truths. For instance, if a wrong is committed, it doesn't matter whether the one committing the act sees it as wrong, that act has incurred a debt in the spiritual realm that has to be paid. If the wrongdoer lives long enough, he'll pay; if not, somebody will pay. And when one is in denial of this fact, he does things that carry consequences most unpleasant. Why? Because he believes it is a done deal. Pay later? That's religious non-sense to bullies. Oh, and if you think it only happens to the other guy, keep living. Life will make a believer of you.

If the bully that attacked Gabriel Taye were fortunate enough to read this and it causes him to re-think his behavior so that he actually refrains from bullying others, then that would be a good thing. He will remember, however, that his last act towards Gabriel Taye was one of meanness which can now never be erased. I doubt that anything I say in this writing will bring about a real change in the way bullying is handled in schools across the nation. It doesn't matter though, because I, along with many others don't really expect a different response from school officials/educators, some parents, the system and churches. No, make that, especially churches. Therefore, I'm appealing to 'true' christian parents, kids, Sunday school teachers, educators and friends, because as I said earlier, the wrongs done to the defenseless will come back to haunt everyone whose responsibility it was to prevent the many suicides and retaliation deaths that have occurred as a result of bullying. I can't believe we entrust our national security to people who can't see the importance in controlling our kids' destructive behavior.

To the bully, the school officials at Carson Elementary in Cincinnati, Ohio along with all of the other schools who looked the other way when it came to suicide and bullying, I repeat: It's all going to come back to haunt you.

The longer wrongs go unpunished, the stronger the denial that it will ever be pay back time. The wonderful thing about this system of reaping and sowing is that no one person or persons have to purposely plan to even the score—it'll just happen—count on it!

As a senior Life Coach who has turned around many bullies with this universal truth/law, I have little respect for those who have repeatedly allowed these injustices to claim so many lives. You, who have degrees in Divinity and degrees in Psychology and Educational degrees—shame on all of you! I believe you were either too lazy, too incompetent, or just plain didn't care about the kids who were in your charge to do anything about protecting their right to go to school, and feel safe. There is an evil plot and many of you are participants.

Now, for the Christian perspective: The Holy Bible deals with everything that will ever come up in our lives. It not only tells us the stories of actual people who lived and committed the same sins as we, but it recorded the consequences those people faced behind their sins. You may be inclined to dismiss their lives and actions, because these people lived so long ago, although I don't know what that has to do with anything. It's stupidity when we don't learn from the mistakes of others, and stubbornly go down the same path to meet the same undesired tragedies.

Therefore, I'd like to share a couple of things I witnessed in the lives of real people I knew—you know, people from 'our time period'. The first was a bedridden elderly woman confined to a nursing home where I worked. I was twenty-three at the time. I had not known the woman prior to my coming to work at the nursing home. But rumor had it that she had been in a position of authority in her younger days, and had unfairly treated/bullied people she supervised. I'm sure she wasn't thinking at the time about what life would be like for her once she reached her eighties. A few of the nurse aides knew her past and saw their opportunity to pay her back for what she had done to some of their friends and relatives. This elderly woman endured being smacked; sometimes in the face, left in her urine for hours, deprived of food and drink, and reminded of her evil deeds. Family had stuck her there and rarely came to see her. When she tried to explain how the aides were being mean to her, the few family members who visited every blue moon, chalked her complaining up to her being delirious from the medications she was taking.

Do you believe her past came back to haunt her? We live in a fallen world and bad things happen to good people. We all know that. But looking only at this particular case, you decide.

It took a lot of years for the old lady mentioned above to get hers. And yes, it came at the hands of those who deliberately sought to pay her back. But sometimes pay back comes a lot sooner and despite what misinformed people think, kids get it for their wrongdoing.

Little bullies Be on Notice


The following is a story based on real-life events.

A nine-year-old girl we'll call Loretta bullied the kids at her school, in her neighborhood, and her step-sister who was only four-years-old. Her dad defended her, stating that she was upset because her mother had deserted the family, and kids were teasing her, saying she didn't have a mother, although she had a very caring step-mother. Loretta had a biological brother and sister who were older. Dad had told Loretta's siblings that if any of the kids she bullied older sister or brother tried to retaliate, they were to protect her at all cost—even if it meant a threat to their own safety. Loretta bragged about this one day to her step-mother who warned Loretta that there was a universal, not to mention a spiritual law, that says what you send out comes back to haunt you. Loretta wasn't convinced that those laws were meant for kids. After all, they were just innocent children who had to have time to learn right from wrong. Loretta reminded her step-mother that even if the laws were operational in the lives of other kids, everything was covered for her, because if anybody tried to make her pay by beating her up, her siblings were to protect her or get a whipping themselves.

The letter arrived stating that Loretta was being transferred to a new school that had the town's only special education classes, because she was failing in all her subjects. The transfer meant that she'd now be bused to the new school, which meant being picked up at 7 a.m. each morning, which also meant earlier bedtime for her than the other children. Life suddenly turned upside down for Loretta, and dad couldn't protect her.

The boy on the bus whose seat was directly behind Loretta's had no idea of her bullying background and he wasn't a bully himself. But there was something about that new girl that he just couldn't stand, and he let her know it by popping her in the back of her head with his ruler the entire ride to school. No one tried to stop him, not even the driver. And on the playground none of the kids would consistently play with Loretta at recess time.

Loretta muffled her sobs every night as she cried herself to sleep. She didn't dare tell her step-mother what was going on. And she was angry at her dad for letting this happen to her when he had promised to always protect her.

You can read the fuller version of this true story titled: Naughty Little Step-Daughter to find out the outcome. But I think it's evident that it was pay back time for Loretta.

Some of you will not be convinced that God had anything to do with evening the score for Loretta. And to you I say, bully on. I know that there is a God in heaven who will see to it that someday, your past will come back to haunt you. This is the cost of bullying from a Christian Perspective.

If you are the parent of a child who is a bully or the parent of a child who is being bullied, the child being bullied, the bully, a teacher, or Sunday School teacher who would like to handle this topic from a Biblical perspective, you may contact me. I recently started facilitating groups through Skype. For those of you who are interested I may be contacted through the contact form below. I will answer your inquiries with more details about how Skype group facilitation works.

In conclusion, there is a passage of scripture (II Kings 2:23) that is called into question as to whether the children who got theirs were little children or teenagers—does it really matter? Our Juvenile Justice System always makes allowances for age whether young children or teens. The point I'm making is that neither little children nor teens from any time period have learned all they need to know about right and wrong actions, yet forty-two of the kids in this passage lost their lives. Unless you believe the Bible to be a book made up of lies, you might want to ask yourself what is your responsibility as an adult to steer kids away from behavior that will ultimately cause them harm or death?

Sunday School Teachers, have you ever taught or discussed the above passage in your classes in all the years that bullying has been going on? It is the least many of you could have done. It certainly worked to curtail bullying when one of my students was allowed to share this with her classroom after I had taught it to her.

How many of you teachers, who've had the freedom, has shared your experiences regarding this issue of bullying with your students? They--the students--really do listen, and often change their behavior.

I welcome your comments, your requests to join a Skype discussion group, or your inquiries for more information. I may be reached through the contact form below.

Remember Gabriel Taye. And remember, it's going to come back to haunt you.


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